Newly single. Only about a week and a half, or so. Slowly starting to feel better, after a record-breaking (for me) 5 days of crying. Beginning to move on.
I heal fast.
The details of the break up up are muddled, and I'll go into that at another time. Let's just say for now that...he wasn't ready for the seriousness of our relationship, and to be in something that might potentially, inevitably lead to marriage. This is despite the fact that, allegedly, he still loves me.
What I really wanted to share was this quote from the last episode of Sex and the City, when Carrie breaks it off with her latest flame, Aleksandr Petrovsky, due to his inability to give her exactly what she needs in a relationship. She says:
"I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. I'm not going to find it here in this expensive hotel suite, in Paris."
What she is looking for, in this episode...that it what I'm looking for. And despite the fact that I love my ex-boyfriend desperately, and probably will for a while, he can't give me what I need right now. I'm not going to find that love from him. In that instance, it's better that I be single, so that I can continue on my quest to find it. Maybe someday, after he's had his fun and is done gallivanting, that can be him, and he will be the one to give me what I need. Maybe not. But I know what it is that I'm looking for.
And I'm sure as hell not going to settle.
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