Tattoos and Me

I've always wanted to get a tattoo, pretty much since I was old enough to have it be a real possibility. I'm one of those people who loves any manner of self-expression, and I've always been fond of giving myself "personal symbols"...especially (as is pretty obvious) the Phoenix. I've been obsessed with the phoenix imagery since somewhere in middle (that's my best estimate...I don't actually remember. It was a long time ago), and so it was always pretty clear what my tattoo should be. A phoenix, on my left shoulder blade.

I designed the actual tattoo one day in physics class on the margins of my notes. It came out perfectly, exactly as I wanted it, so I clipped it out and carried it around with me in my little black Moleskine notebook for about 3 years. By the time I was 22, it was time to finally get it done. Not wanting to go with anyone who wasn't going to be a permanent part of my life, I went with my best friend and mentor Steve to the same person he had gotten his tattoo from...this guy named Matt, who had designed and inked a wolf on his bicep. The morning before I actually went in to have it done, I panicked. Tried to think of every way to get out of it. Wanted to back out.

But knew I'd regret it if I didn't go through with it. Plus, I believe life is about experiences. Getting a tattoo was an experience I wanted to have.

It didn't hurt that much...it was more like being scratched with a needle. And it only took about an hour. Only near the end was I starting to be like, "Dear God, finish already!" It came out great...the artist did an amazing job with shading, and I was really pleased. I never felt like it was something new really...just that it was something that was always supposed to be there, and now it was.

People say that tattoos are addictive, and I said, "No way, I'm only getting one, I'm finished."

Now, four months after my first one, I kinda want another. Not any time soon, but I keep thinking about where I would get it and what I would want. The thing I keep coming back to now is a Tornado (based on the fact that it is a new "personal symbol") or cross made of intertwined barbed wire (something seen in a dream), maybe on my ankle or hip. It's something I'd think about a lot more before doing it.

But I also now love seeing people's tattoos, and hearing the story behind them. It's fascinating to see what drove them to get a certain image permanently placed on their bodies. For some, it was just an impulse, or a random decision. For others, it's something extremely meaningful and well thought through.

So I know there's this stigma against them, sometimes, and always the argument, "Well what if you regret it?" "What's it going to look like 20 years from now?" Etc.

But I personally think there's nothing wrong with any form of self-expression, and in a way, tattoos are one of the deepest forms of doing that. You are choosing a symbol for life. It's like marriage to an idea or an image. It will always be with you.

So if you pick the right thing, it can be really beautiful.

To me, mine is.